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I'm all for peaceful succession!!

Dear Red States: We're ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics, and we've decided we're leaving. "Legitimate rape...." Really. We in California intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes New York, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country, The Enlightened States of America (E.S.A). To sum up briefly:You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners), 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy League and Seven Sister schools, plus Berkeley, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you. 38% of you in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale,


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  • I'm all for peaceful succession!! - Justlisten2 11/13/1218:59:37 11/13/12 (1)

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